I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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