A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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