Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
