the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
