I wish i was in the wii world.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
