We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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