I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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