It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
