maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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