after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
