after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
