Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
