It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish I only lived at night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
