Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
