Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
