You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
