Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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