do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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