thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
i think my cat just said my name.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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