I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Come see our sink grown plant.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In other news, I just burned my penis
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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