If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
