Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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