Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
