just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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