It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
