does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
