I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
