Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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