Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
