Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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