Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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