I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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