What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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