haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Randomize
