just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
