dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
