My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
