we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
