We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
