I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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