Nicole vs. Life
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
