i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
