So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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