fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
