STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just google imaged poop.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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