No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
