I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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