That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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