What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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