OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
