I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
