i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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